I should get my license back on Wednesday. If all goes as planned, I will walk into the DMV with no license, and walk out with my FREEDOM in tact!!! I'll keep you posted...
I managed to finish the semester doing relatively well. I got all my coursework done, got an internship at the school I wanted, and was finally feeling like my advisor didn't hate me. Oh wait... that last one only lasted for about 5 min. I'm still pretty sure he hates me.
Then we get to the old boyfriend... we'll call him K. So, he finds me, after 14 years, via myspace. We start by messaging, then by emailing, then by talking on the phone. We spent, I kid you not, like 20 hours on the phone the first weekend we talked. Things progressed pretty quickly from there. In all of my life, I never expected to talk to this man again, much less to fall for him. But I did. I feel like he brought back a part of me that I had lost all those years ago. Ultimately, this resulted in my going to visit him. I stayed for a week and had a fantastic time. I had been feeling this overwhelming emotional connection with him over the phone, but in person, that connection was even stronger, and there was an added physical connection that I didn't expect. To be honest, I didn't expect any of it to be this good, but it was. I was starting to really believe the same things that he did, that we were meant to be together.
Then I got home and the myspace drama started with the soon-to-be ex-wife... who is 32 years-old chronologically, but apparently only 13 year-old emotionally. I will spare you all of the details, but the ex-wife (we'll call her CW) appears to be totally crazy. She started making threats to him, threats to me, and using his children in order to get him to leave me. He felt like he was being forced to make a choice between being with me and being with his children. Of course, he chose to be with his kids. I wouldn't expect him to do anything different, and don't really think I would want to be with him if he chose me over his children anyway. Not in this situation.
I am very hurt and very sad. I let myself believe that there was a possibility of a future with this man. The romanticized idea that after 14 years two people could reconnect and find themselves falling back in love with each other, that fate really would lead us back together, that I could feel a connection with someone who shared so much of my life with me... all these thoughts were filling my head and I was so hurt that now all those possibilities were being taken away so quickly after I thought they had been given to me. The thing that bothers me the most though, is that CW doesn't care about him. She is trying to control him because she is upset that he has moved on so quickly and is happy, while she is still miserable. But she doesn't care about him. She doesn't care about his happiness. She is proving to be terribly manipulative and immature and I am so afraid that he will waste the next 20 years of his life in a town that he hates with a woman who treats him like he is inferior and constantly emasculates him. Just like with MW, I just want K to be happy. He has been through a lot in his life and has come out of it amazingly changed. He has grown up from a 15-year-old punk kid, to a 30-year-old man who is responsible, intelligent, and caring. He deserves better than to be treated like she is treating him and I hate her for hurting him like this. I hope that someday he can see that before it is too late. I hope that he is happy, whether that includes me or not.
The last time I heard from him he said that he wanted to still be friends because I was the best friend he ever had, which he has told me a hundred times over the past 2 months. I said of course I would still be there for him. (I have this weird ability to remain friends with my exes, so, while this may seem weird to some of you, it's pretty normal for me.) We'll see what happens...
I know that you guys don't know him, and I'm not an extremely religious person, but pray to whomever you believe in that K can see past the manipulations and make a choice that will result in his happiness. Pray that he will have the strength to get through the next few months and come out of it relatively unscathed...
xoxo
g.
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