I saw MW last night in our quest to remain "just friends." All went well and we had a good time. He mentioned again that the only regret he has when it comes to our relationship is that he didn't fight for it when I ended it the first time. Now he is "stuck" in a situation and things between us are final. It seems that there is no longer the possibility of rekindling anything. That's fine, we can be friends... But why is it that no one ever wants to fight for me when they have me? I want to be with a man who will stand beside and who will fight for me and for our relationship. I thought maybe K would be that man, but when things got tough, he bowed out and couldn't fight for our relationship.
A girlfriend of mine recently described me as "steadfast and true" in my relationships, with both men and women. I think she's right, so why is it so difficult to find someone who possesses those same qualities and who will utilize them when it comes to his relationship with me?
I'm about halfway through the Bitch book. I still feel that it is more about self-esteem and being able to stand up for yourself than about anything else. Yesterday MW was asking me what happened with K, so I gave him the Reader's Digest version. He said, "You never know, he may come back." He's right, K might come back. In all actuality, it wouldn't surprise me if he did come back in 6 months saying that he's finally ready, has worked through all the drama, etc. But I don't know if I want to be with a man who wouldn't fight for me the first time around...
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