My hope has finally been realized! I got a comment from someone who randomly found my blog and found a little piece of herself in it. That was sort of the whole reason I started this thing in the first place, so I am very happy to be sharing my misery with the rest of the world! :) Hang in there Jeanne! He wasn't good enough for you anyway!!
Unfortunately, as luck would have it, the misery, is to some extent, continuing. I have been feeling so good lately; finally like myself again. The new year started out well, I was just getting back on the right track for school, and life was looking up. Then my poor judgment crept back in and landed me in a bit of legal trouble. The possible ramifications of this event could be severe enough to hinder the very thing that I've been working so hard to accomplish. So now I wonder if all the sacrifice has been worth it. And, furthermore, will it be worth it to make continual sacrifices?? OK, cognitively, I know the right answer here, but I'm just not feeling hopeful or optimistic about my immediate future...
I have always thought that my life has played out exactly as it was supposed to... even with the Matt. In fact, I just had to write a self-reflection paper about that very thing, and it continued to affirm my beliefs that I was on the right path. Now, due to recent developments, I'm starting to question everything. I hate that. I hate the uncertainty. It makes me want to quit school, quit my job, put all my stuff in storage, and move to NY with the kitties.
And FYI, I can totally see now how previously successful, high functioning people become alcoholics and drug addicts... All I want to do is run away from my life, get wasted, and dance on a bar. Any takers??
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